you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
