The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
