whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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