oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
