Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
