walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
