dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
