we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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