Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
