and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
