I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
