weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
