another moral hangover. fuck.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
