i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize