Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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