i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
