just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
