I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
