Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
