if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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