I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
