im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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