So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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