also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
