this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
