thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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