the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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