we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
