Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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