Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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