Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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