Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
