One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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