So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
