I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
