Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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