you guys were way drunker than both of me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
