i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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