i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We are two peas in an std pod
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
