Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
