My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
