super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You need Xanax blowdarts
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
