its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
