my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
