So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
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