I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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