Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
