How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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