Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
