it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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