you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have fence marks all over my body
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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