could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
