she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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