I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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