i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
