Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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