I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
