I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
