it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
