I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
