My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Please, let me fuck your mom
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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