and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
