There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
