you traded sex for a burrito?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
