i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
