Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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