So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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