I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize