It's Friday. Sex?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
